Dark and Twisty Freak

Christi are u doing ok?

2010-07-07T14:19:00.003+03:00

Well it's sad how some songs express my feelings exactly...This song it's like it was written for me...Everything described has happened to me and the most ironic part?My name is actually Christi... =\The part that gets me the most every single time is where he sings :
Oh clouds of time seem to rain on innocence left behind...It never goes away...Can you stay strong?Can you go on?Christi are you doing ok?A rose that won't bloom winter's kept you - don't waste your whole life trying to get back what was taken away...
Made me cry the very first time...It's sad having to deal everyday with the pain...And hard...I decided to go on...It helps me get through the day...I turned into poetry and express my feelings through writing...I wrote a lot of sad poems describing my situation...I have one talking about a fall's day it says everything but in a way I can only understand...I never let anyone see what's really going on with me...Somewhere deep inside smt has been taken from me and since then I'm not the same person.I used to be full of hope,loving bright colors,listening to bright music,I used to be full of joy and love...Not anymore...Really now?None of these matters...I am who I am and I know now after a long time of denial we can't change our past and some wounds are supposed to never heal...The pain will still linger no matter what...All you can do?Keep dealing with it...Someday,maybe it won't hurt this much...I can't erase my past...I wish I could...It's just my little dark secret...I chose not to tell anyone,trying to forget...I don't wanna be seen as a heroine or people pity me...Everyone knows I have a dark side they just don't know why...And they will never find out either...Nothing more,nothing less...

I'm outta love,set me free!

2010-07-06T12:19:00.004+03:00

Now baby come on
Don't claim that love you never let me feel
I should've known
Cause you've brought nothing real
Come on be a man about it
You won't die
I ain't got no more tears to cry
And I can't take this no more
You know I gotta let it go
And you know

I'm outta love
Set me free
And let me out this misery
Just show me the way
To get my life again
Cause you can't handle me
I'm outta love
Can't you see
Baby that you've gotta set me free
I'm outta love

Said how many times
Have I tried to turn this love around?
But every time you just let me down
Come on be a man about it
You'll survive
True that you can work it out all right
Tell me
Yesterday did you know
I'd be the one to let you go?
And you know

I'm outta love
Set me free
And let me out this misery
Just show me the way
To get my life again
Cause you can't handle me
I'm outta love
Can't you see
Baby that you've gotta set me free
I'm outta love

Let me get over you
The way you've gotten over me too, yeah
Seems like my time has come
And now I'm moving on
I'll be strong yeah

I'm outta love
Set me free
And let me out this misery
Just show me the way
To get my life again
Cause you can't handle me
I'm outta love
Can't you see
Baby that you've gotta set me free
I'm outta love

Bloody,vain,shallow,stupid,son of a bitch,asshole,idiotic fool,etc!!The list could go on but I don't wanna waste space just to make your little face important...You wanted me as your back-up...Boy I ain't the second choice I am the first...When I told you to answer me you never did saying you wanted time and crap...You never told me you didn't love me but you never told me that you love me either...I was such a fool...Well that's what love does to you,right?Makes you blind?Well now he can go have fun with his bleach-blonde-slutty-barbie-like-girl and leave me the fuck alone...You wanted someone stupid well go ahead...I'm not gonna be there this time...I had enough...Boys are soo stupid sometimes...But let me tell you something last you are the one who's lost...With how many barbies have you gone out the last 7 months?The longest that relationship lasted was 1 month!Especially your latest relationship lasted like 25 hours?I am shocked! =o I would never wish bad things but really now I can't wish you well...See you again in hell!! =) Life goes on and it's not like I fucking needed you in the first place... =)

Woo hoo!!

2010-07-05T13:32:00.003+03:00

Now I remembered why I don't have blogs...I always forget to update them... xD Whatever...Randomness starts here...Well first of all school is over!!Like freaking over!! *yay* I mean finally!!I got sooo tired of it...Btw exams weren't such a disaster (my maths,physics and chemistry exams were but who cares for these crappy lessons?)...Then I took my german exams for B2 (holy mother of distraction fingers crossed I passed - my teacher was lousy and taught us nothing! =@ ) and english!I rocked my english exams!Especially the oral part!I was talking and talking and talking!The examiners and I had a great conversation!So that's enough with personal/school-related crap... xD Grey's Anatomy season 6 finale!!That's a topic I have a lot to say but I'm gonna summarise it all in two words : FREAKING EPIC!! Enough said...MerDer = pure love!The two hour final was extraordinary!Full of drama and love and everything!That's why I watch Grey's people...Shonda rocks even though I have a love-hate relationship with her I admit that she is great!Now I'm dying till September for 7th season to start...*hint for Shonda*Plz pick up from where you left offfff *puppy eyes*!And now comes my greatest love : Anastacia!Well not that excited with her latest duet with Dima Bilan but I'm soooo glad she is in the spotlight again...Now I am waiting to see the videoclip which sounds pretty interesting...And dying to see her star in the movie "All you can Dream"!She looks stunning in a pic I saw the other day!! (L) Anywayz I should stop writing before I get all excited and everything! =P Btw it's offical SUMMER IS HERE!! ♥

PS : Don't forget you can stalk me in those pages

www.facebook.com/freakychristi
www.myspace.com/freakychristi
www.twitter.com/freakychristi
www.livejournal.com/datf
www.youtube.com/freakychristi

Yay!!!

2010-02-10T20:24:00.003+02:00

*random post starts here* Oh my greys!!!I'm freaking excited!!!I received my german certificate today!!!*yay* And yesterday the play we did was cool...I actually hated myself (not a surprise...I always find what I do crappy) but oh my,the other guys were exceptional!!Especially the girl after me(Maria) was my fav...I also loved the poem she had to learn...The theatre was full,btw...♥ And afterwards we went out...Well,we had an awesome time!!We played dare or truth which was so f*cking funny!!Poor teachers... xD *random post stops here*

My life those days...

2010-01-27T21:23:00.007+02:00

Ok,must admit things are tough(that's exacty the reason I adapted "The president of ppl with crappy lives" from Grey's)...I feel like I have no time at all and exhausted...Some days I can't even get out of bed because of the tiredness...Should expect that...Two freakin important english exams coming the next 4 months,german exams coming and school tests are driving me nuts...I really need a break...And like I didn't have all those stuff I had a panic attack again...It's like the third one this school year...This time while we were doing a speaking for my english exams...I hate the symptoms - this whole sweating and shaking,then my heart is pounding so hard it hurts,the sensation of smothering and last but not least the dizzines...Pfff...Sucks big time...Oh well at least I have some peace and quiet in my personal life and I'm all glued back together now...Mary (used to be a good friend since 3rd grade but now we're like besties) and I have a lot of fun...We go out,we study,we talk and do almost everything together...Now you may be wondering why the buck am I talking about her...Well,just when my ex-bestie got that I don't give a damn about her anymore and I'm so over all the things she did to me tried to tear us apart and take Mary by her side which of course didn't work cos Mary never betrayed me and she didn't really want to try that now...She saw that and she went and did another stupid,idiotic thing that I'm no gonna write down right now cos I'm pretty bored...She's pathetic if she thinks she is bringing me down this time...I made a mistake by breaking down once not gonna do that again for a person who doesn't deserve it after all...Anywayz blah,blah,blah,who cares?Btw tomoz no school!!!Awesomely awesome!!Going to wake up late and watch Grey's Anatomy and maybe finish the book I'm reading atm and then go meet Mary (that day rocks ♥)...Now going to bed...*yawn*

Tragedy (U)

2010-01-18T14:46:00.001+02:00

Grey's latest sneak peek...

2010-01-17T20:34:00.004+02:00

Just watched Grey's Anatomy latest sneak peek with MerDer...Oh my grey's!I just remembered why I adore McDreamy(aka Patrick Dempsey) and Merdith(Ellen Pompeo) as a couple... <3 I can't freaking wait til "I like you so much better when you're naked" (that's the episode title) airs... <3

P.S I want my personal McDreamy... <3

...The art of suicide...(U)

2010-01-17T20:17:00.004+02:00

This is by far my fav Emilie Autumn song...Btw when she says "Life is not like Gloomy Sunday with a second ending when the people are disturbed" she refers to the song "Gloomy Sunday" or the "Hungarian Suicide Song" as it's called because in the English version there's a second verse which is kinda "happier" than the rest of the song...

The art of suicide
Nightgowns and hair
Curls flying every which where
The pain too pure to hide
Bridges of Sighs
Meant to conceal lover's lies
Under the arches
Of moonlight and sky
Suddenly easy
To contemplate why
Why...

Why live a life
That's painted with pity
And sadness and strife
Why dream a dream
That's tainted with trouble
And less than it seems
Why bother bothering
Just for a poem
Or another sad song to sing
Why live a life
Why live a life

The art of suicide
Pretty and clean
Conveys a theatrical scene
"Alas, I'm gone!" she cried
Ankles displayed
Melodramatically laid
Under the arches
Of moonlight and sky
Suddenly easy
To contemplate why
Why...

Why live a life
That's painted with pity
And sadness and strife
Why dream a dream
That's tainted with trouble
And less than it seems
Why bother bothering
Just for a poem
Or another sad song to sing
Why live a life
Why live a life

Life is not like Gloomy Sunday
With a second ending
When the people are disturbed
Well they should be disturbed
Because there's a story
That ought to be heard
Life is not like a gloomy Sunday
With a second ending
When the people are disturbed
Well they should be disturbed
Because there's a lesson
That really ought to be learned

The world is full of poets
We don't need any more
The world is full of singers
We don't need any more
The world is full of lovers
We don't need any more...

My fav quotes...

2010-01-17T11:47:00.001+02:00

After deciding to care about this blogie thing I thought it would be nice to post my fav quotes...I also decided to add some lyrics from my fav songs... Warning: As a HUGE Grey's Anatomy fan expect many quotes from Meredith Grey (which I adore!)... <3

It's not about winning,it's just about fighting...(Anastacia)

I'm not to fall...I'm not falling anytime soon...And if I do you better believe I'll go down fighting...(Anastacia)

To make a difference is just...I think...the purpose of what life is...(Anastacia)

I'm a klutz-I will fall because air is there...(Anastacia)

Disappearances happen...Pains go phantom,blood stops running and people...people fade away...There's more I have to say...So much more...But...I've disappeared...(Meredith Grey)

Maybe we like the pain.Maybe we're wired that way.Because without it,I don't know maybe we just wouldn't feel real.What's that saying?Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer?Because it feels so good when I stop...(Meredith Grey)

At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. That's how we're made. So, you can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines... that are way too dangerous to cross.(Meredith Grey)

Communication. It's the first thing we really learn in life. Funny thing is, once we grow up, learn our words and really start talking, the harder it becomes to know what to say. Or how to ask for what we really need.(Meredith Grey)

Maybe we're not supposed to be happy. Maybe gratitude has nothing to do with joy. Maybe being grateful means recognizing what you have for what it is. Appreciating small victories. Admiring the struggle it takes simply to be human. Maybe we're thankful for the familiar things we know. And maybe we're thankful for the things we'll never know. At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing is reason enough to celebrate...(Meredith Grey)

Sometimes reality has a way of sneaking up and biting us in the ass. And when the dam bursts, all you can do is swim. The world of pretend is a cage, not a cocoon. We can only lie to ourselves for so long. We are tired, we are scared, denying it doesn't change the truth. Sooner or later we have to put aside our denial and face the world. Head on, guns blazing. De Nile. It's not just a river in Egypt, it's a freakin' ocean. So how do you keep from drowning in it...(Meredith Grey)

Pain, you just have to ride it out, hope it goes away on its own, hope the wound that caused it heals. There are no solutions, no easy answers, you just breath deep and wait for it to subside. Most of the time pain can be managed but sometimes the pain gets you where you least expect it. Hits way below the belt and doesn't let up. Pain, you just have to fight through, because the truth is you can't outrun it and life always makes more.”...(Meredith Grey)

I've heard that it's possible to grow up - I've just never met anyone who's actually done it...(Meredith Grey)

Change.We don't like it.We fear it,but we can't stop it from coming. We either adapt to change or we get left behind. It hurts to grow, anybody who tells you it doesn't is lying, but here's the truth sometimes the more things change the more they stay the same. And sometimes, oh, sometimes change is good. Sometimes change is everything...(Meredith Grey)

We're adults,when did that happen and how do we make it stop? (Meredith Grey)

Where do we go from here?I wish I could disappear...I'm a lonely soul so far from home...(Where do I belong? - Anastacia)

The shattered memories time will soon erase...Only souvenirs,salt from a thousand tears but when I wake up you are never there... (Pieces of a dream - Anastacia)

I've had my share of pleasure and I've tasted pain...I never thought that I would touch an angel's wings...There's a journey in my eyes it's getting hard for me to hide like the ocean at the sunrise...(Heavy on my heart - Anastacia)

Progress,changing,growing then giving up...Somehow we're never quite prepared - but I understand it... (Tragedy - Brandi Carlile)

My will to quickly end it all set front row in my need to fall...(Into the ocean - Blue October)

Intelligent girls are more depressed because they know what the world is really like...(Opheliac - Emilie Autumn)

I like to think I wouldn't die for you but you know I would cos that's the fool I am and that's the rule you bent...Absent in the end my fairweather friend...(My fairweather friend - Emilie Autumn)

Places everyone this is a test,throw your stones,do your damage,your worst and your best...All the world is a judge but that doesn't compare to what I do to myself when you're not there...(God Help me - Emilie Autumn)

More to come.... ;)

Change is so damn good...

2010-01-17T10:13:00.001+02:00

Haven't been around for a while now...Not my fault - busy scedule...Not much going on either...Just stopped liking my bestie(which now I should call ex-bestie,right?)...And passed my german exams...Change came this year and screwed up my life but I must admit I really needed it...I was stuck there not moving just breathing and change punched me in the face and made me realize some things I should have realized long ago...My ex bestie for example...Jeez she's a total stranger to me today...She's desperately trying to fit in a company and so she started smoking (which sucks!),started watching movies she didn't really like, stopped eating some kinds of food that her new "friends" don't like, etc...She also started saying bad things about me behind my back - something I never expected from her...I must admit I broke down...I've been crying every single night for a month or something...But then one day I woke up and decided not to care,after all she's not the person I used to know and adore...So I decided to let change come in...I changed my haircut,my clothes,my room and most of all I decided not to let anyone ever again walk all over me...Oh well I must admit now I'm happy...I have friends and i may sound mean but I really know that one day she'll understand that she had a diamond and she threw it away just to gather some random stones...Ok,that's all...I got it out!

Seriously! :p

2009-08-10T14:14:00.000+03:00

Oh gosh!This has to be the 5th blog I open...I hope this one will be the last!I thought it would be good to introduce myself in this first blog...So I'm Christine but I prefer Christi,I'm 14 years old and a greek...My friends usually call me Christi,Chrystal or Jambon(which means ham in english,ridiculous isn't it?)...I like being different from the others...I'm also a fighter!I fight for what my right is!I'm over-emotional,I cry a lot,I'm such a baby!I also talk a lot and pretty fast,sometimes ppl can't understand me!Who cares?Life's short so talk fast!I'm not an optimistic but neither a pessimistic,I would say I'm realistic and a bit dark and twisty...But I smile a lot!I like to see happy ppl around me!I have a great sense of humour and I'm sarcastic...My fav word has to be "Seriously?" cos I use it so many times that it has become annoying!lol...Forgot to say that I'm a huge fan of Anastacia(saw her live this summer and she blew me away,that woman is my inspiration),Renia Louizidou(greek actress met her and she's soo down to earth!We talked for about 20 mins!Another inspiration) and Grey's Anatomy!!That show rocks!Seriously!What else?Oh my fav type of music is rock and acoustic but I also listen to metal,pop and a bit of RnB...I'm not a fan of Trance,Dance,Techno...I believe that the lyrics are the most important thing in a song...A song can have the most ridiculous music but as long as it makes me think/cry it's great for me!!I also forgot to say that I speak English,German,Albanian,Greek(of course :p) and a bit of French and Italian...I think that's all...So bb peeps...